January 1, 2006
wow, its been forever since i’ve written an entry, well here we are, at the end of the year of 2005. so much memories made and i guess some that becomes part of my life’s history, going back to my junior year then now senior year. time sure has fly by like its nothing. summer was a blast, meeting my significant other was the best. yet here comes 2006, another year full of a life long journey. a year where important and not so important things will occur. man, i have until june and its graduation time. yay! in a way, beacuse i will miss a lot of my friends after high school, but this new year will be the same. no resolution because i dont really believe in it. people make mistakes, but another part of it that cannot be an excuse is that if “he or she” promise something and it was broken. yeah mistakes sure are great from learning, but its different if its a promise turned into one. anyways, holidays it was great that i was able to spent time with my friends and relatives. it was really cool. but Christmas, my wish did not come true, i expected it that it wont, i wish it would, but didnt and thats to spend time with my love. same goes for today too, new years eve, i wanted to begin this new year with the person i’ve fallen for, but still same answer-NO. anyways, this past week i’ve spent a lot of time with my friends and we had a good time. really good, just like summer, but its winter instead, haha. well, i’m still hanging in there, with the whole family issues and college coming up and all. this whole year has been an experience, not just like any other year. this year was full of fun and games, drama, and self discovery. i’ve gone closer to most of my friends, got to know my parents a little bit more, than i already have and with my significant other, that person knows how i am. i just miss hanging out and spending time with that person. we’ve gone closer, got into big and little arguments, but hey we’re still standing strong, actually i think we are stronger than before, i'm really sure of that, hehehe, i cant wait until we finally get to see each other again, i’m sure it’ll be a jolly meeting, hehe. trust me it will. well what else is there to say? my two close buds Ri and George have been there to clear my head up whenever i’m troubled with drama, i thank them the most. got closer to my “bruhduhh” chris, hehe. my friends “n’ve-ed” sorry girls if i misspelled it again, well they’re i mean you girls are like my sisters and you all are awesome in my book! i miss them. Volleyball, man i never thought i’d be hooked on that sport, but i love it now! hehe! i hope i get into the team, even though im a senior now. i’m not that great, but its fun playing it with my friends and practicing with the team! i’ve had a great year. still busy with school as usual, keeping that 3.0 or higher like always and ready to spend the rest of my senior year with my friends and preparing to face reality that life holds for me after high school. happy new years!

October 16, 2005
it has been awhile again since i have type anything down on here. well this means i have a lot to talk about i guess. not only that i have been busy with my school life and all, but other things about my life as well. i am currently with someone, but as of right now, in a way its great, but then again, my special someone kind of needs to learn a lot of thing because i have been hurting. the things that are said and done with the set of tone towards me is not making me feel any better. i mean, i know, that relationships are like so tough. this one is my longest and i am taking this seriously, but tell me, how would you feel, if you are treated as if you were invisible and not even try to look at you or talk to you at all? that hurts! so bad! like im cutted deep. i know that this issue has been cleared, but lately, the way YOU talk to me, please watch it. i dont deserve to be treated as a none living person who's sitting next to you or i dont deserve to be the one thats receiving a rash tone of words. i understand why your voice is in that way, but remember i have feelings too! i love you and care about you, you know that and this entry is just to express how i feel. overall we work things out, me being with you is great and i tell you what you need to improve on, just keep those in mind. anwyays, school. i have to jot some things down here, like damn. i have never been so busy in my high school life until this year. i thought last year would be the craziest thing, but this senior year is more hectic. i put it upon myself anyways, so yeah. its just to keep msyelf occupied, but i manage to make time to hangout with my friends and finish my works and all. yearbook, wow, its my first year but its so crazy, i need to do this and that, but its cool, it will help me in the long run, i hope, hehe. pre calc is so tough for me right now though. my grade is so bad in that class, i need to pass this test on the 18th or else it will be really bad, but other classes of mine coming along just fine. i know i have A's or B's in them. just that math is really not my thing, but im pushing myself to learn, which is a good thing right? man, this year is going by so quickly, i've been in my relationship for 2 months without noticing it and my friends, we're all talking about college this and life that after high school, its a little too scary, but have to deal with it. then suddenly graduation will be just here out of nowhere! aahh! school, lovelife, friends, and family are the main things that are running my life as of right now, but in order to balance everything out, i needed to make time for each and always maintain my schedule fixed. friday, the 14th, my asian club, had a pot luck and it wasnt as great compare to last year, people didnt come when they said they were suppose to and bring materials and it pissed me off. next meeting will be talked about that. we had to eat in cups! oh well, it was fun while it lasted anyways. afterwards i hanged out with my friends and my special someone, which was cool. volleyball! dude, i so want to be in the team, this is why im trying my best to go to the prectices and all, i just hope i get it. other than all these! my friends are so awesome! hehe! gotta love'em not just for time we spent with each other, but with the fun in it and i thank them for being understandable!

September 6, 2005
well it has been too long since i have last jotted down or typed down my thoughts that runs through my human brain. it is because of the summer. the last summer that i can call myself a teenager. the last summer with life long memories that was created with my friends. a summer where i met new friends and to this last day of it will have a new beginning. let me recall from what i can remember. biking; damn man! if my friends and i have never done this! summer would not be as great as i said it is. sure it helped me build up my lower body a little, but during the time im roaming around for miles with my friends, all that was filling me up was joy. every single day and minute that i have spent with them is great! i remember biking with ri, george, and brian. that was the longest bike ever! nearly biked to bolsa chika! biked for 4 hours or so. other than biking. the month of july; i was mostly hanging out with my cousins and it was fun: sleeping over, laughing, playing games, watching movies, playing tennis nearly everyday and joking around. it was good. something we havent done in a long time, hehe. what can i say about this summer? theres nothing else i can say but its awesome! rad! great! haha! well now school is in session starting tomorrow. that will be counted as part of my life's history and i would sure make tons of memories with my friends. just this summer, i got to know some of my them a little more than about just the usual him or her. i never thought one could such be an asshole because of an event and take it all out on others. one being all apathetic and all when deep inside he is sweet and have a heart and mine of gold! one being thoughtful and helpful and so kind, who doesnt deserve to get hurt by those who have no life or anything better to do. another who is so cool, yet very understandable and cant tell which is a joke or the truth from her lover. another one who was so confuse of who she should be with, asking me for an advice and at the same time having the same problem as i, between relationships. we all are here for one another, help and understand each other. man, this summer is filled with too much, even though its the last of my friends and i as teenagers, but will never be the end. i myself went to the beach a lot. i got darker from doing that, hehe! self discovery is another part of it too. i never knew i am a person who can be kind at heart, be able to stand up for myself, can be such an independent person and a hopeless romantic kind of guy. theres more to it, but words cant explain how i truly feel. i have just come to realize that i can never depend on my parents for everything or forever. i am becoming an adult and i have to face my own responsibilities in life and face the consequences good or bad from my decision or action. in the future i do hope that working hard for my education will pay off. i will work hard to gain the aspect in life i am hoping for. whatever a person or a friend might give me; their opinion and suggestion, i will take it in, but the way i choose how to live my life and how to go through my path will be me, myself and i's job. one person whom i would really like to thank a lot during this summer would be no other than rithyka. you have proven yourself a great companion to me. you talked to me and listened to me. you're one friend i will keep in mind and heart forever. being understandable is what you are. i know we had a little misfortunate event on my birthday, but all has been forgotten and forgiven. i think that made our friendship better than it is before and stronger. thanks dude! this is all that i can spit out from my mouth that have thoughts and feelings with. i will try to blog whenever i can. so long for now! im off to my senior year and to the year where we will say our goodbyes to some friends and some to keep in touch with. the year where we will all follow the road that we have chosen in life and the reality from a facade. i'll be back on here soon. have a good day/night!

September 2, 2005
UPDATED my layout. check my picture page on the bottom links. i have a lot to put down on here about my summer, so, i'll blog in here as soon as i can!

July 24, 2005
well, it has been a couple of weeks now since i've entered an entry. well here is an update, i suppose. well on the 15th, i went to the beach with my friends, jamie, john, charis, paolo, ri, francisco, brian and semion (sorry, man, i forgot how to spell your name). it was pretty fun, then afterwards, we went to lakewood mall to drop off jamie, where she was currently working at, but i heard she quit that job. semion was hunting for girls, haha. never thought of him as that type of guy, until i saw what i saw, haha. well these past two days, i've been hanging out with my friends again as well. it is my summer vacation so yeah, im enjoying it! it could never be better without my buddies! okae, first, i went with bernhard, ri, george, francisco, bobby and brian to lakewood mall because bernhard needed to buy a girl a gift for her birthday. actually, we were just walking around because i couldnt buy anything since i have no money at all. after the mall, drive around then went to downtown long beach at the pike to pick up bernhard's little brother joel. damn BJ is a freegin` crazy driver! gosh! haha. but its all good. hehe and chico gave me a headache because he was stepping on the break too much! urgh! haha. anyways. after that, we went to the park and it was around 9 at night and there was a couple of police cars at silverado, so i thought like everyone else, what happened here?. later on heard that someone got shot or something over there. during that night, had another good time playing tennis with my buddies! it was fun! haha, effin` brian hit me on my hip and it hurted, haha! and lefted a mark! bernhard got hit on the balls by george, haha! that was funny! okae and about yesterday. went to francisco's house because he wanted to borrow a game from my cousin and so he did. then it was chico, ri, charis, bernhard and i who was chilling at chico's house. it was pretty chill. then later on left with ri and BJ to tapioca express to get some boba. we biked and it was cool! hehe. i saw mike working! thanks for the stamp dude! hehe. then went to get gas for BJ's dad's truck and after that we went to blockbuster to return the movies his dad rented. bernhard is a really cool friend, except that sometimes he can be such an asshole, but who isnt? i admit i can be one too. ri is still an awesome buddy of mine. i went to drop off his amp and guitar at his appartment and saw his brother rithera and said sup and he went to get some candy. as we were driving back, we spotted this one cute asian chick and effin` bernhard was speeding up to catch up and look at her! haha! what a dork! its all good buddy! returned to chico's house and george finally arrive and BJ's brother joel went with us to the park and played some tennis and badminton. it was pretty cool. charis came with us! yay! haha! and we we're all climbing this one tree. they kept on saying that brian climb like all the way on top, that's cool, haha! it is brian! i still remember when he went up on top of that swing at the playground at the same park. that was cool. after hanging out with my friends, i went to my cousins and played xenosaga that i borrowed from rithera. i met von and hanged out with him too! haha! he's a cool dude! well yeah, i've been busy, i guess. well hopefully i get to read my book frankenstein later on! hehe. take it easy! later days!

July 6, 2005
i have no idea where to start. from the last entry i have entered in here, there has been quite some changes in me. looking back on my birthday, the person whom i said i would never speak to, is my friend again. we are back to normal because come to think of it, we've known each other for nearly four years and have gone close. he use to be my bestfriend and even though we are not bestfriends anymore, he remains as one of my closes friend in my life. someone who knows me very well. i have thought about it and said to myself that our friendship cannot end this way, no way! one of us has to step up and act like young adult about this situation and so i got the courage to finally give him a call and in a few days was hanging out with him and his girlfriend at my house. i have learned that people do care, he admits that he was sorry and so did i. okae and now let me talk about some other things, i have been really lazy. a complete procastinator and that is me. i mean, yeah, i have begun on my AP English summer homework, but cannot seem to go on any further because of my lazyness. i am sure i will be able to finish it all before this summer ends. i know myself and i work hard and i would never loose this chance in gettting into that class. anyways, parents, oh man! when was there ever a month we never argue. we talk about certain things like, my needs as their son because all they care about is my siblings and they are mature adults who have their own family and life. can't they get a job so that for once, my parents will pay attention to me and get me what i want. i may sound demanding, but honestly, last time i bought myself something was back in january. that is more than half a year already. i know there are people out there who doesnt get anything and i am really sorry for that. like the whole one campaign by the celebrities, to end poverty and make it history, is really something admirable. its not that my parents really never pay attention to me, its just that, i just really want to get myself something you know? but whatever. about my ex, i am glad that i have finally moved on and i can never be happier and i dont have to be moping around and thinking about the past, hehe. and it has been awhile since i was in a relationship because i am single now for about 3 months and it seems so long to me, haha. now im coming in as a senior in high school and i talk to my parents about my college of choice and they freaking want me to go to a nearby college, but i want to go to UCI and they want me to go to CSULB and i was like "NO!" because from what i've heard that UCI is pretty good when it comes to the medical field and i want to become a RN or just a nurse. plus i know i can do better because of my grades and that i am very involve in my school, i just hope i will get a chance to enter my college choice. yes, i am already planning for my future and i want to be ready for the real world.

June 23, 2005
well here i am again, typing down what has been going on with me and inside my head. been thinking a lot, i think i really need to move on because i think my ex is walking forward already and i need to get up and not fall behind with the past. this summer will be one that i will really not forget, it has only been a few days and there is so much self discovery. i'm concluding before the new year of high school, i will learn a lot about myself and my surrounding; friends and family. been sleeping a lot and getting in shape whenever i get the chance. i havent really talk to that many of my friends except for charis and jamie, plus some of them are like on their vacation to other states or countries, i just wish them to enjoy it! hehe. you might think im a weird person by saying this, but to me, in my own opinion, sometimes what i see on any screen, computer nor television, sometimes gets to me, which brings me to a state of contemplation. for example, the feeling of loosing somebody so dear or so close to you, i have never experience. sometimes hearing, seeing, and reading about someone's story about brings me to an awe. on top of all this, what i truly am thinking right now, is my little brother/nephew Rommel, that lives all the way in the philippines. god, i miss him so much, today i saw pictures from a decade ago or so that made me think of him, how much i miss him and how much i just wanna sit by his side and talk about our lives right now, specially girls, haha! anyways, but yeah, back in the days, a decade ago or so, i remember him following me where i go, he's like my freeging tail! i made him cry a lot and i would get in trouble, specially by my older brother, his father. he would look for me while i hide somewhere in the house because i made his son/my little brother cry again and i can picture him yelling "RGIE!" haha. i miss those days and its not that i want to make him cry, but i just want to talk to him right now and get close like the way we were before. i wonder when i will see him again, sigh. im all getting watery eyed, while typing this entry, its not me, but yeah. i also remember picking him up from his elemetary school because we did not attend the same school. i would get interested in whatever he's interested in and buy him things that he wanted with the amount of money that i have. last time i saw him was back in in the summer of 2003, which was nearly 3 years ago. one of these days, we will reunite and i would not want anything else, but to spend time with him. take him to places and catch up you know. soon, i will soon see him again and enjoy every single minute we spend together. i just wished he lived near because i wanted to be looking out for him and guiding him through everything, just as his kuya/uncle. i would tell this to all those older brothers out there, but not everybody is the same. we all look at thing in different ways, but i suggest, never waste time with your younger siblings, of coarse there will be times of fighting, laughter, and tears, but these things get to you doesnt it? how much each and every one of you will say they you hate each other, in the end you will all regret saying that because you'll miss them and specially those days, then your reminisce. like i do right now, theres nothing i would wanna do right now, but hug my little brother/nephew and tell him how much i miss and love him.

June 17, 2005
first of all, the school year has finally ceased and i have completed my junior year with a flaw. got involve and still am involve in school and have gain too many pounds of school spirit. this will go on for the next coming year, my senior year, which i am looking forward to and kind of not because of the parting event with friends and facing the so called "the real world." other than that, my plan for this summer vacation is to get in shape and catch up with my sleep that i have lost during the school year (and you have no idea how many, haha). i was so happy that i got to be part of the junior honor guard for the class of 2005's graduation day yesterday. moreover, is it always like this? that for me, i cannot let go with the little bit of emotion left for on of my ex's. it is so hard to move one from you, you know who you are, two weeks maybe short, but that two weeks have impacted me in some ways. i cannot be in any new relationship because being with someone and still liking you it pretty tough. i now realize that being with somebody and not having the mutual feelings like they have for me is not right, but in time i know, that i will find someone else and i will finally get to dust off these feelings for you because like everyone says "you need to move on." i say this to people who ask me for some advice about something they are going through via their relationship, friends most importantly and here i am just like them. i guess i should think before i say something about relationships nowadays. it is never easy, its the hardest thing you can be really involve in. so many things to worry about, the trust, faith, loyalty and most importantly the connection between the two of you. i need to let others and myself know that there are many chances out there and if you ever come across one of them, go for it! as for the time being my heart and mind is still mending and it sure does take quite some time. i have become more mature this year compare to who i was before. someone who is too gullible and can be beaten down by vocabulary to someone who is vulnerable, tough in the inside and one who will never let anybody walk over my footprints.

June 9, 2005
well today is my birthday and guess what? its the worst birthday ever. i finally turned 17 and this was the day i've been looking forward to, but damn, some shit just have to happen. first the current relationship i was in, we broke it off today early in the morning. what a good start of my birthday dont you think? second, woke up about 6:30 in the morning and parents were gone to work, not even leaving me a note saying happy birthday. then here comes the school, got into a little fight with one of my now "use-to-be" friend, i mean come on! this is my birhtday! did i ever ruin your god damn birhtday for christ sake! it pisses me off how naive you are! i've told you i dont want you to punch me and i've yelled stop, but you insisted and kept on going. you are such an asshole, have you ever considered how i felt!? this is the day, that i was longing for, i know it may not seem important to you or whomever may concern, but it is to me! and you know what!? FUCK YOU, i will never speak to you from now on, you bastard! adding to that, my right hand is swolen, maybe from punching him or when i hit that metal pole while walking to one of my classes. only two good things made my day and thats when my friends, specially jamie who really cheered me up, like literally! thank you LEE! and my cousin riza greeted me a happy birthday and them giving me a hug and most importantly, having to hear BENIZZLE's voice on my birthday, since its been awhile since i've talk to him. well i'm not doing anything because my parents cancelled my birthday party, no kickbacks and not even give me money to buy myself something. this whole day, i will never forget. now you guys have a good day/night.

June 5, 2005
well i dont know how to put this, but everything is all gravy with me. everything is cool again. i'm happy and thats my point *smiles* PERIOD!

June 4, 2005
yes im really in the mood of feeling all melancholy. this is the summary of how everything is to me right now. let me put it to this, i was on top of a hill until the cliff just started to crumble and break, then so i fall into a deep insanity of loosing someone and myself. i need to climb back up...sigh...

May 29, 2005
hello there people! its been awhile since i've blog on here, lets say nearly a month or is it a month? hah! well here's my new layout, which i have been working on for awhile and it turned out quite pretty awesome! just dont jock my style or my stuff because i work for hours to create all this! anyways, let me talk about what has been up with me, well i was alone for a month, yes, ALONE, without parents because they both went to the philippines for a month vacation. it was nice to have some privacy, but they're back and everything is normal here again, by that i mean, there's curfew again and all that jazz. school is becoming tougher and tougher to me because i have a summer fever and i just wanna get out, but what it does to me is make me be all lazy and not do all my work. i think some of my grades went down, not quite sure, but i know, my grade for AP bio has changed from A to a B and the rest i have no idea. well, other than all this, in terms of relationship, i think im being stupid for saying what i have said on my previous entry on the 30th of april. i did let people like me, let the feelings overcome me and in the end, i liked someone in return and due to that, i am in a relationship, which started good and still going great. its a long distance, but distance cant keep me and my special someone's feelings apart from one another. i am doing my best to show you how much i care or tell you how i care about you. i miss you and yes, I LOVE YOU. it has been a week since i got stuffy nose and cough and being sick totally sucks ass dude! let me put this down here, lately some people or friends have been getting into my nerves, but looking upon myself, i do posses those qualities that i dislike about them, its just something that i have learned lately, but some people i really do DON'T like at all and this is just me. like me or hate me. well people, i will keep an update whenever i can. take care have a nice day! heres are some pictures from the beach yesterday, saturday. it was a cool day, went with, Ri, Charis, Kat, Mark, George and Bobby.
CLICK TO ENLARGE


April 30, 2005
Well, lately i've been really down and kinda happy, i don't know, things are just really unexpected you know, like this kinda shit happen then that, like i'm single again, and i think i'd better stay that way, i shouldn't let anyone like me or let myself like anyone because i'm tired of getting hurt. nothing ever works out. life can really stinks dude! i'm happy and yet at the same time a lot of things bugs me you know. like school, i'm totally fine with that, friends, they're great and i couldn't ask for anymore, but relationships, i don't know, i really think i should never be in any for a long time, but then again, i have done that before, being single for two or nearly three years. its sucks being alone, but then what can you do. like my recent ex. the relationship i just got out of, i still like that person a lot, sometimes i wonder if we're ever gonna get back or something, but i don't know. i would really love that to happen in the future though. (closes eyes, kneel down, wish, tears drops)

April 17, 2005
damn! just a couple of days can sure change you in a lot of way you know. i am with that person already and i am really happy. its been awhile since ive ever felt this blissful dude! this person is really cool and sweet and thoughtful. baby! its really cool that you let me know what and where your going because i dunno. its just nice to know where you are and not to worry too much because i trust you. i'm really happy YO !! haha, other than that, my life is cool. i started hanging out with my old friends again, but still hangout with my other friends though hehe wow! for this whole week, i think i went out afterschool a lot because of them jaccie, wong, analyn and elaine !! gosh !! haha with their boyfriends and shit. i get jealous though, for real dude. because they're all kissing and hugging and i was there alone without my baby. i dont see my baby a lot, thats why, but we're making it work hehe. i miss you babe !! we went to the beach and that was fun! before that we were just driving around, school friends house and then there, haha. after the beach was fuckin` scary man !! damn jackie stops on a freeway !! shit !! we we're all screaming and all inside the car!! hahahaha. we also just hangout at their houses too! haha now this coming week will be HELL im telling you. i gots tons of things to do starting today! can you believe this? im doing my work early this morning already !! hahaha but im still making time for my baby and my friends which i think is cool. i finish my works though, its just that i cant do that nonstop without talking to my baby or any of my friends, so yeah, anyways, gotta go and finish my stuff !! haha have a nice day/night !! by the way here are four pictures from the day of silence on friday.
CLICK TO ENLARGE


April 6, 2005
well today was really tiring, glad that my friend daniel was back at school, but he's on a wheel chair! aww, poor danny! i got to push him! which was totally awesome dude! haha he's such a cool buddy. other than that, there's still plenty of work set up that i need to do. another thing is, at some point, i finally think that im really movnig on. at some certain point. im talking to this new person. this person is really sweet and cool, like i just wanna hug this person so tight! and not let go. we talked for over an hour and as that hour and so passes by, we've found conenctions and similarities between each other. like having the same favorite movie, a walk to remember. i would really like to get to know you better and spend some time with you. you are so awesome! hehe. i feel like as if i can talk to you forever. i wanna hold your hand and better keep what you said about the build a bear day event thing, haha. overall, as days goes by, we will learn more about one another and i guarantee! that it will happen. one day, like you said, one day i am hoping that we will be together. i hope and wish for that to come true (bend on knees and wish).

April 3, 2005
hey there! whats up? well heres my newest layout, version 47 with the background music by Story of the year called swallow the knife. after this there would not be a new one for a month or two, since i usually update it every month, but this time i like this layout. anyways, today was cool in a way because i went to my friend alex's pool party thing, just friends were over there, which was cool. but later at night, got a little boring and all. other than that, spring break went pretty well. not too boring. theres just some things that my mind continuously keeps and that it thinking of that one special person. you know who you are and if you are reading this, please read carefully. i know that the feelings that we both have for one another is not mutual as it use to be, but i truly miss you - a lot. every single night before i lay my fatigue body on that comfortable sheets of mine, you are the main thought that runs my head. somtimes tears fall from thy eyes with you in mind. i guess to me it does not matter that you do not feel the same way, i guess i just long for that touch of yours and the warm sensation when we take that embrace. the events that led to us knowing each other and the time spend up in pilgrim pines was totally unforgettable. those happy memories we both shared, the time when we were leaving and had that kiss. valentines day. i know i may have been an asshole and im really sorry, if i was or if i had said anything hurtful to you and that i'm sorry that i could not be the one you wanted. one who considers your interest and in what you do. thats what im really working on. again, sorry if i had called so many times and bother you while you are busy. my apologies. as always, i still thank you for coming into my life. i wish i could rewind the time and fix the mistakes that i have made. but time does not stop, it only passes by and each second in every minute of the day is important. i really miss you. anyways, life can such a pain in the ass at times and can be sometimes cool. for me, its okae. i do miss being in a relationship, i really thought you were the one and still thinks that you are. my life revolves around mainly about my education and friends as of the time being. preparing myself for the future challenges that i will be facing. other than all these, i feel empty and lonely. like a rose with petals falling one by one until it is left with nothing but a stem. this layout represents some of my inner feelings right now, how i feel towards someone and how i long for that person. what i think of life and everything else that surrounds me. this is all i can say for now. have a nice day/night!